And The Stupidity Continues - Now Peanut Butter Is Racist

My grandson is allergic to nuts; violently allergic as it turns out and that necessitates being very careful when he’s around. When he comes to visit, everything with which he might come in contact must be sanitized before he arrives in case it came in contact with someone who had eaten a peanut butter sandwich for example. It is a serious allergy but a minor inconvenience for the delight of having him visit.

My grandson’s allergy has made me aware of the need for caution in places like schools and I don’t criticize schools for being careful and even banning peanut butter where there is a possibility of a child going into anaphylactic shock. It can be terminal.

Where I draw the line, however, is when the politically correct step in and decide something like a peanut butter and jam sandwich is a subtle example of white racism in language. 

And that is exactly what they did in Portland, Oregon.

In keeping with recent ‘equity training’, one principal has decided that peanut butter and jam sandwiches are an example of white privilege. It’s part of a training program known as "Courageous Conversations" that has been introduced into Portland schools over the past few years. Staff members at this particular principal’s school have been going through sensitivity training and various classroom exercises which include reading current articles in the news and then discussing them as an issue of “white privilege."

White privilege? It's a statement that takes my breath away. Only a politically correct mind, uncluttered by any semblance of rational thought would think to characterize something that was developed by an Afro-American as a symbol of white privilege. It's stupidity on a scale that threatens to make your head explode.

The idea that the children of some immigrant families to the United States might not eat peanut butter and jam sandwiches, or even sandwiches for that matter, is hardly a racial issue. It’s a simple cultural difference. The problem with wingnuts like these educators (and I use that term loosely) is that they never look beyond their own sanctimonious bias at the bigger picture. They're in too big a hurry to demonstrate their sensitivity and moral superiority.

They have way too much time on their hands!

What’s next, Kraft Dinner? This lunacy ranks right up there with those who accuse as racist, anyone who has the temerity to question President Obama's record before deciding whether or not to vote for him. There is no room for common sense when it comes to accusations of racism these days.

I don’t know what’s happening to education but it is overrun by idiots who shouldn’t be allowed to make decisions, carry scissors while they walk from one classroom to the next lest they hurt themselves and definitely not be allowed to come anywhere near our children.

What I really don't understand is why we continue to allow it to happen.

When they’re not marching in Canadian and American streets demanding outrageous salary increases (but only for the benefit of the children of course), teachers, and the education departments for which they work, are hard at work, developing the most bizarre and contradictory policies and programs possible. 

Some schools in Canada have banned Halloween while others have changed the name to Black and Orange Day. Some have banned costumers at Halloween while others have decreed that students can dress up but must wear costumes related to public service or public safety occupations. So much for the true spirit and heritage of Halloween.

Most schools in both countries now ban Christmas concerts, Christmas trees, Christmas cards, even the mention of Christmas although both Christians and non-Christians alike still actually know that the holiday is called Christmas.

In New York City, the Department of Education has banned words like dinosaur, dancing, evolution, divorce and, my particular favourite, bodily functions. Now there was a phrase that was threatening the fabric of society.

In Texas, the State Board of Education has decided to place Senator Joe McCarthy, a man who made witch hunts more than just fashionable, in a more favourable historical light while downplaying the contribution of people like Senator Ted Kennedy. Clearly there is no political bias there, only the best interests of students are being considered.

It is an animal show of stupidity by stupid people and it knows no national borders. It is spreading as easily as peanut butter on a piece of white bread (another symbol of white privilege and racism no doubt).

The educational system seeks to protect children from words like dinosaur but introduce them to adult concepts like sexual knowledge before they’ve learned tie their shoes, or for that matter, discovered the joys of puberty.

In this 21st Century, one would have thought that the ability to think would have been a criterion for teaching and administrating education, or at the very least, there would be a requirement for a modicum of common sense. Apparently not! No idea is too outrageous it seems. In fact, it appears that only the outrageous is even being considered. 

Fortunately, the morally superior educators in Portland have overlooked peanut butter cookies and Reeses Pieces.....for now (apparently they aren't racist) but they should be warned. I have drawn a line in the sand. I've had enough of this absurd nonsense and I am prepared to rally the troops and go to the barricades if they try to ban Kraft Dinner.

As for Ben, we’re concerned about his allergy to all nuts when he starts attending school full-time. I appreciate that there are still some good and committed teachers out there (pray God) but considering the growing number of nuts at the front of the classroom these days, Ben's health may be in serious jeopardy. 

There is already no doubt that his education will be.

RELATED POSTS

Just When You Thought It Couldn't Get More Stupid

http://bearsrant.blogspot.ca/2012/03/just-when-you-thought-it-couldnt-get.html

How Much More Stupid Can It Get?

http://bearsrant.blogspot.ca/2012/04/sheep.html

Teaching Children To Achieve Mediocrity

http://bearsrant.blogspot.ca/2012/05/stupidity-virus-is-spreading.html

© 2012 Maggie's Bear

all rights reserved

The content of this article is the sole property of Maggie's Bear but a link to it may be shared by those who think it may be of interest to others

Follow The Bear on Twitter: @maggsbear or connect on Facebook: Maggie's Bear

At The Gym, Pride Goeth 'After' A Fall

When I was much younger, I was fairly active in various sports. Although I’m built like a defensive linebacker, I tended to be more interested in track and field, cross country running, weight training and, of all things, volleyball.

I did play some football and even tried my hand at baseball for awhile but my inability to either catch the ball or hit it apparently was fairly important to the coach. Football was easier. All I had to do was focus on falling on top of whoever had the ball and I can fall on anyone fairly easily if I can catch them.

After I left the hallowed halls of academia and got focused on my career, I had less time for athletics. I still did some running and for a few years also played squash three days a week. I liked squash but gave it up after my brother-in-law kicked my ass all over the court without ever leaving the T-line. It’s embarrassing to have a skinny little guy barely work up a sweat while you’re bouncing off walls trying to keep up.

By the time I had hit my forties, the results of too many meetings and too much sitting behind a desk without much physical activity to counteract the effects were starting to show. I figured it was time to do something about it so I decided to join a fitness club.

In the old days, you joined a gym where guys worked out, had a shower and went home. We didn’t stand around naked in the locker room chatting and you never looked at another guy's equipment. Gyms were basically stinky places with gruff people and lots of weights around. There were very few of the fancy things you see advertised on the shopping network these days. I couldn’t find a gym so I joined a fitness club.

Fitness clubs are to gyms what hair salons are to barbershops; a lot of fancy enhancements to basically achieve the same thing. Inevitably, the fancier something is, the more expensive it is.

Fitness clubs aren’t stinky places, probably because they are open to men and women. They have carpeting and mirrors, televisions on the walls and lots and lots of fancy shiny equipment. There is also a wealth of spandex in a fitness club, far more than you would have ever seen down at Harry’s Gym in the old days.

I picked a fitness club near where I lived believing that it would be easier to haul my butt home the shorter the distance was that I had to travel after I worked out. I went to a store that specialized in athletic apparel and footwear intending to buy a sweat suit and what we used to call runners. 

The store did not carry sweat suits and runners.

Instead it had a wide range of footwear for every possible purpose. There were shoes for running indoors, shoes for running outdoors, court shoes, cross trainers, walking shoes and shoes with descriptions of things I had never heard of. They carried all the major brands including Nike, Adidas and Reebok and came in a multitude of colours from white and black to fluorescent green. They had so many different shoes on display on their walls, I knew I was going to have to ask for assistance, something I just hate doing.

The store also carried colour-coordinated training suits in shiny nylon and spandex, lots and lots of spandex. I wasn’t sure that spandex was going to accentuate my figure or that I would even be able to get into something made of spandex, so I opted for the least shiny training suit I could find and a pair of Nike trainers. 

I also bought a tote bag for $90 that I could have picked up at Wal-Mart for $15.

Fully equipped, I trundled off to the fitness club one afternoon on my way home from work, grabbed my fancy tote bag full of new athletic apparel and went in to sign up. I figured it would take a few minutes to fill out the form, pay and get changed which meant I could be home in about an hour and a half after working out.

That turned out to be a little optimistic on my part.

I was greeted by a young attractive receptionist named Tania. She had big toothy smile and even bigger hair and a perfect tan. She asked me to take a seat while she arranged for someone to assist me. A few minutes later, Ingrid emerged from a side door in a spandex training something or other and Nikes that I’m sure were even more expensive than mine. Ingrid was quite attractive,  had a perfect tan and was in very good shape which became readily apparent when she shook my hand. She had a very firm grip which made me wonder if it would recover in time to fill out whatever forms they required and write a check.

Ingrid took me to her office where we filled out those forms and then she asked me what kind of program I wanted. Program? I just wanted to work out, I didn’t need a program. Just cash my check, show me a treadmill and where the weights are and we’ll get ‘er done. Apparently that is not the way things were going to be done and Ingrid started the process by asking me my long-term objective.

I told her it was to try and avoid dying of a heart attack before I was really, really old. She just looked at me waiting for more specifics but there were none. That was my only objective.

She decided to put me under the guidance of a trainer at only a slightly extra cost who would design my personal regime. I wasn’t sure I wanted a regime or a program. I just wanted to work out and avoid dying too soon but Ingrid winked at me and assured me that Brad was one of the best. She then took me on a tour of the facility, pointing out all of the different pieces of shiny chrome-covered equipment and explained the purpose and function of each to me. 

I was becoming aware that my original estimate of being at the club for 90 minutes had been a miscalculation. Ingrid was both enthusiastic and thorough. Her tour included a significant number of up sell offers at only moderate additional costs but I declined. I was still trying to figure out what I was getting myself into.

Eventually, Ingrid took me to another office where she introduced me to a young man in a tight tee shirt and Starter training pants. His name was Brad and he wasn’t just toned, he was TONED and had a perfect tan! His abs showed through his tee shirt which made me thankful that the top of my training suit was quite loose-fitting. Brad advised me that he was going to design my fitness program with me and show me how to do each part of it. Brad was as enthusiastic and thorough as Tanya and we spent the next hour together before I was finally was able to leave without having put on my new training suit or my new Nikes. 

I promptly forgot everything Brad told me as I drove home.

Undeterred, on Saturday morning I decided to go and workout my own fitness program. I drove to the club, changed into my new outfit which I thought would make me blend in and headed for the treadmills.

I had brought my Walkman with me, dialed up some music, put the headphones on and started the machine. I’m no fool. I picked a moderate pace with minimal incline. It was Saturday after all and I didn’t see the need to start the weekend with anything too strenuous. Besides, I had to do some grocery shopping later and didn’t want to wear myself out before I got to the store. I knew I would need some reserve energy for the inevitable 35 minute wait in the line at the cash.

I was doing fairly well, jogging along almost in time to the music which gave me a degree of confidence so I inched the speed of the treadmill up a bit. I was, after all, a former distance runner. 

Directly across from me was a mirrored wall where the free weights were kept. After about ten minutes of jogging, a very attractive young woman in very tight spandex entered and walked over to the free weights directly in front of me. She stood with her back to me, looking at herself in the mirror, something I noticed a lot of people do in fitness clubs.

Her spandex suit was two-tone. The lower part was royal blue knee length and the top was bright pink that culminated in a thong-like style over the blue lower part. I figured she was probably going to do some weight training. I was wrong. Without warning, she bent over in front of me to touch the floor without bending her knees presenting her trim, firm, perfectly-formed posterior to the world or at least to me.

And that, my gentle raindrops, is the precise moment I fell off the treadmill.

Actually, I didn’t so much fall off as get thrown off. I was so captivated by the vision in front of me I forgot to keep running but the machine didn’t and threw me off directly into the guy running on the treadmill beside me. I don’t know why they put them so close together but they do. We both went down in a tangle of arms, legs and Walkman wires which caused the person on the treadmill beside him to jump off their treadmill to avoid being caught in the pile up.

That pretty much shut down the treadmill line.

There is no dignified way to extricate yourself from a situation like that. There are no words that will somehow make what happened seem perfectly normal so when some of the staff and other club members came running over expressing their concern that I might be seriously hurt, I pretended to be hurt. I felt it was better to keep them focused on being concerned about my well-being than on the fact that I was an idiot.

I accepted the assistance of one of the staff members to help me limp to the locker room where after assuring him that nothing had been broken and that I wouldn’t sue the club, I dressed and slunk out to my car with my collar turned up and my sunglasses on even though it was raining.

I didn’t go back to the club for a couple of weeks even though nothing but my pride was seriously injured and eventually I did start a regular workout regime for awhile. But I never forgot that day because it taught me that the phrase ‘pride goeth before a fall’ is wrong. It should say ‘pride goeth after a fall’ because after my fall, I had no pride left at all.  

© 2012 Maggie's Bear

all rights reserved

The content of this article is the sole property of Maggie's Bear but a link to it may be shared by those who think it may be of interest to others

Follow The Bear on Twitter: @maggsbear or connect on Facebook: Maggie's Bear

The Official Opposition To Reality

Queen Elizabeth II, Canada's
head of state and a grand and
noble lady.

Canada is a parliamentary democracy. In fact, it is actually a constitutional monarchy but the Queen is tied up with the Olympics right now so we’ll just deal with the parliamentary part of it.

Unlike the republican form of government in the United States, Canada does not have an executive branch. Our government is comprised of the House of Commons (the legislative branch), the Supreme Court of Canada, (the judicial branch) and the Senate (where former political hacks and bag men go to retire in taxpayer funded comfort before dying). Only our House of Commons can pass legislation that has been introduced either by the Commons or by the Senate. Typically it is the governing party that introduces legislation but individual members can also prepare and introduce legislation but these bills seldom get passed.

Our system is a first-past-the-post electoral system. Like the United States, we have political parties because like Americans, we haven’t figured out how to get rid of them yet.  The party that gains the most seats in an election forms the government. If the total number of government seats outnumbers the total number of opposition party seats, it is called a majority government. If the opposition outnumbers the government, it’s called a minority government. (They actually have government committees who come up with the official labels for things like this)

We do not have a president who is elected separately by the people. The prime minister is just one more member of parliament who represents an electoral riding like the other members. He or she becomes prime minister because they also happen to be leader of their political party. 

I know that’s all a big yawn and I apologize but it was necessary to lay it out so that we could get to this point.
The party in parliament with the second highest number of members is called the Official Opposition. Currently, the New Democratic Party is the Official Opposition which provides them with a few extra perks over the other opposition parties; the Liberals, Bloc Quebecois and the Green Party who who get no perks beyond their six figure salary and gold-plated pension.

If you find all of that a little confusing, you should try living under that system for awhile.

You Didn't Build That - Somebody Else Did

Throughout the centuries there have been men and women who took first steps, down new roads, armed with nothing but their own creativity, imagination and determination. They had access to all of the same things to which others had access but it was their vision determination to do something that set them apart.

Others saw the opportunities that presented themselves as a result and built on those original ideas or added complimentary services and products to what others had developed while the rest just stood by and watched.

It started when someone got tired of dragging heavy things around and started to develop an idea to make it easier. Nothing motivates innovation like inconvenience.

Barbeques and Dirty Words

Ours wasn't quite as bad as this one
but it was getting close

We started this summer in the knowledge that we had to replace our barbeque. It was a decision that we had managed to find excuses to put off: we were going to Paris and there was no time, we had other priorities and had no time, we didn’t like barbequing and had no time…..we would have to assemble the new one. 

It was this last excuse that was the real reason.

I dread buying things that require assembly. I’m as handy as a turnip and despite having a fair number of hand and power tools, the truth is that most of them were gifts and I don’t really know what they do or are for.

Government Client Service At Your Service

"Color me impressed with Service Canada- Adele's

birth certificate took 2 days from the online registration to arrival

at my front door via courier. Now THAT is impressive.

Why can't all gov't agencies be that efficient?"

 - posted on Facebook by an optimist

Now there is a relevant question. Why can’t all government agencies be that efficient or, at least, sort of in the ballpark? The lack of thinking and motivation that goes into the bureaucratic process at all levels of government is staggering.

In Canada, every citizen has a Social Insurance Number. I was a teenager when the government decided that numbering us was better than simply using our names and I still remember getting my first SIN card. It was white plastic with black lettering and a red Canada flag logo proudly displayed in the upper left hand corner. Its purpose was strictly limited for dealing with the government in terms of taxation and Canada Pension payments.

Over the years, the SIN number became a broader form of identification. Banks required it when new accounts were opened. Credit card companies required it as part of the process of approving you for a new credit card and it was used to run credit checks, background and criminal checks.

Paris - Day 1: Les vaches disent moo!

It was my intention to write and post daily from Paris about our trip but upon our arrival, I discovered that my laptop wasn't working. I did, however, keep a daily diary and over the next five days, will share the experience that passes for travel these days.

Well, wasn’t that special!

We have arrived in Paris and are finally settled in our hotel room despite the best efforts of a significant number of people on both sides of the Atlantic.

Stand Your Ground (But don't pee on the electric fence!)

I used to watch the Jerry Springer Show. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking the same thing Maggie thought and voiced. She wondered how I could watch something that not only had no socially redeeming value but which clearly illustrated the worst in human behaviour.

And that is precisely why I used to watch it.

It was like watching a car accident. You know you shouldn't but you can't pull your eyes away. The behaviour is so unbelievable. I used to tell Maggie that the next time she wondered how our countries got into the various messes we were in, she should remember the Jerry Springer Show. I told her I watched it to remind myself that the people on that show could not only breed, they could vote and that explained a lot about what is happening to our societies.

You're Awesome!

I’ve been told that I’m awesome more often since joining Twitter ten months ago than throughout out all of my prior life and almost exclusively by people who have never met me, don’t know me and who seem to think that because I can click the follow button I’m - well - simply amazing!

I don’t let it go to my head because I've also been called a 'capitalist lickspittle', a 'right-wing neo-fascist' and a 'left-wing socialist jerk-off'. I also have lots of people in my real life who know me quite well and who regularly assure me that I am merely just ok.

Then too, there is something about trusting the sincerity of an automated direct message telling you that you're awesome that tends to get in the way of believing it.

There Ain't No Cure For Stupid - Drunk Sings Queen In Squad Car

Whoever it was that started the rumour that Canadians were among the sanest, most reasonable and responsible people on the planet....well....were wrong. Following his arrest for public intoxication, this fellow treated the arresting officers to an A Capela  version of Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody.

It gives a whole new perspective to the patience required to be a designated driver.

Apple And Foxconn - A Fabricated Scandal

"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on." -Winston Churchill


I stumbled across an interesting little sidebar tale shortly after posting my last article about the release of the latest Apple iPad. Someone on Twitter sent me a note that they were boycotting Apple products because of the Foxconn situation. Having never heard of Foxconn, my first thought was that Apple must be advertising on Fox News and the person who messaged me was opposed to that but I decided I should probably do some quick research just to confirm that and so I did.

For Outstanding Achievement In Government Waste & Stupidity - The 2011 Teddy Awards

Many countries and industries present awards for outstanding achievement by individuals and groups and we are all familiar with awards like The Grammies, The People’s Choice and The Oscars. Awards are not merely presented for achievement in the arts and in entertainment, however. The Nobel Committee presents awards recognizing significant contribution in fields such as medicine and environmental sciences and there are countless academic, scientific and industry-specific awards world-wide.

Perhaps no single group, however,  is more overlooked when it comes to awards than government but in Canada, a nation of thoughtful and sensitive people, we have rectified this with the Taxpayers' Federation of Canada's Annual Teddy Awards for outstanding achievement in government waste and stupidity.

The 2011 Awards were presented yesterday on Parliament Hill. Sadly none of the recipients were available to accept their awards in person but we believe they should receive the recognition they deserve. Here are the Teddy Award recipients for last year.

More Inconvenient Truth For The Global Warming Crowd

photo: Science & Public Policy.org

Maybe Al Gore got it right when he named his alarmist video about impending climate catastrophe "An Inconvenient Truth". It appears there are an increasing number of inconvenient truths coming out about global warming but it appears they are more inconvenient for the movement than the planet.

A New Year's Eve Story

1980 Monte Carlo

Back in the early 80’s, I owned an 81 Monte Carlo. It was a nice car, dark blue with sleek lines and pretty much loaded but I wasn’t all that fond of it. I have a weakness for Firebirds and so, in 83, I sold the Monte Carlo to my brother-in-law and picked up a new 83 Firebird Esprit. It was late fall and a very mild one.  Global warming hadn’t happened yet but the temperatures were milder than those we’ve had this past year.