Conspiracy Theory

Thank the Good Lord for social media because without it, we would never have realized just how many conspiracies there are out there. Why, we’re up to armpits in them. In fact, there are so many conspiracies that you pretty much have to believe that all of us are part of at least one.  Otherwise, there just would be too many for a smaller group to handle.

I have read all kinds of conspiracy theories since joining Twitter.

Barrack Obama has implemented a conspiracy to turn Congress over to the Muslim Brotherhood while the GOP has a conspiracy to enslave the middle class in favour of making their friends at the top even more wealthy.

Occupy is a worldwide conspiracy of radical groups intent on destroying the world and ushering in a new era of socialist misery while President Obama (he is actually running quite a few conspiracies it seems) is a secret agent for the Iranians.

There is a secret military conspiracy to use the NDAA to round up Americans and put them in Nazi-like concentration camps. ObamaCare is a conspiracy to bankrupt the middle class and establish “Death Committees” in hospitals, where others will determine if you should live or die; while SOPA is a conspiracy to shut down freedom of speech and invade the privacy of people who have carelessly tossed their privacy out the window on social media sites.

Meanwhile, the NRA is prepared to shoot anyone they find in a conspiracy to try and pry their guns from their cold dead fingers.

There is an ongoing conspiracy to keep silent the fact that man never walked on the moon and another that claims there is some kind of alien habitat on the dark side 

9/11 was a Jewish conspiracy aided by government. There are dead alien bodies in a vault at Roswell and Monica Lewinski and Bill Clinton conspired with the tobacco industry to promote alternative and healthier uses of cigars.

In Canada, the Conservative government is conspiring to turn the country into a neo-Christian right-wing  fascist state while the left has a conspiracy to tax everyone into poverty and to undermine families through state control of everything.

The free world is under attack from atheists conspiring to outlaw Christianity while all Muslims are terrorists conspiring to kill anything that breathes, including themselves if need be.

Every part of the world is being threatened by an overwhelming number of conspiracies and I don’t know how we’re going to survive. Even France, where people tend to take things reasonably easily is under threat from Dominique Strauss-Kahn who is conspiring to have another affair with a hotel maid.

Spend a day on Twitter and get enlightened.

There are so many conspiracies, I am hard-pressed to understand how we will survive as nations or even as people. 

photo: New York Post

Of course, we could all take a deep breath and drop back ten yards and get a grip on reality. That won’t happen though. We’ve whipped ourselves into a frenzy and there is nothing left but to get the NRA to arm us so we can defend ourselves. 

Voting is no longer an option. Armed insurrection or at least building tent cities is our only salvation. We are under attack by ….well….ourselves and our neighbours and everyone else who doesn’t agree with, think like or look like us.

How did that happen? 

Maybe it didn’t and we need to stop living our lives in fear and start embracing the freedoms and privileges we have.  If we are going to let the extremists and the fear mongers dictate the agenda, we’re going to end up in even worse shape than we are now.

It’s time to take the agenda back with a little common sense. It’s time to acknowledge that most of what is going on out there is the result of three things: greed, intolerance and sheer stupidity. 

I don’t believe that those are very effective things upon which to build a successful and productive society but they are excellent material for the next conspiracy theory.

Take your pick. You get to decide not only how you want to live your life but what kind of society you want to contribute to building. Anger, fear, intolerance are great if that’s the type of society you want to end up with but they aren’t much use to building communities where people are free to live and enjoy their lives and their families, free to pursue their goals and simply free to be themselves.

There is more power in the courage not to be afraid than will ever be found in being afraid of everything. There is more freedom in tolerance than there will ever be in suspicion and anger. It’s time to decide what kind of world you want to give yourself and your children and then, live accordingly.

For my part, I’ll get in touch with the NRA, just in case we need them.

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